All day at school today…. tomorrow is worse. I have school then a full 8 at Sur La Table. Ergh! Got to get ready for moving, too.

Scott

… trying to get this page working again

Adolfo is still in bed. I am up having coffee. A little stressed this morning. Adolfo and I have been knawing at each other since yesterday… nothing major. I think he is a little distressed over the fact that our relationship is taking a new turn. I secured an apartment for us this weekend in the same complex. It is a two bedroom and we are moving in on the 16th of this month. He admitted that I am building this ideal image of our relationship and he is worried it is being built out of paper mache.

The apartment is larger than the one I am living in now. It gives Adolfo a bedroom of his own if he needs it and guests a place to sleep. Check it out at the above link if you like.

I have gifts sitting here on my desk I have been meaning to send out. Gifts (yes, plural) for Allan in Houston, something for Ruby-Boobie, and Ed in Long Beach. I have got to get these sent out!

Any way… I have groused enough. Talk soon.

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p.s. – I am trying to update this page so it looks a little cleaner. What do you think?

I spent the last 14 hours at school completing a big ta-doo over the school’s grand opening. I am tired. Pooped. And I wish I was cuming home to Adolfo tonight for a hug and a kiss. I ran a rissotto bar there and I met a few of the local polital types including the guy running for Sherriff: Randy Oaks. I also met Lorraine Hunt, current Lt Governor and she is running for something or other. I think I voted for bothy of them last week (Nevada has early voting).

Tom the Dawg was home along for that whole time… 15 hours total … he was a good boy!

Not doing anything for Holloween. I am working at the storeo tomorrow night and could nto be happier about it. Better than sitting at home wondering if some kids are going to knock. Ergh!

Getting to bed swoon… Scott

Since my last entry I had a cold, struggled with school payments, and almost finished my business plan – again. Jeffy Jeff is finished for the most part… I want an investor to make all this good.

I am doing okay for now. I am looking for a new apartment so Adolfo and I can co-habitate.

Happy Wednesday… which means I just finished a few days of school. I read my last diary entry and quivered over some of the typos in it. Jinkies! I even used an entirely wrong word to describe something. I guess that is what alchohol will do to you??? I had a couple cocktails when I was writing the last entry and now I am chilling out and working on a few things tonight at home. God knows I have a lot to do and my biggest problem is that I am coming up with things which avoid OTHER things I SHOULD BE DOING.

I am a little frustrated with school right now, too. It is costing me a lot of money to go monthly. I have to pay 505.00 / month over my student loans in order to attend. I can get a loan to pay off my monthly from some organization called Creative Education Loans, but I am going to need a cosigner or something like that for about 8K … ergh!

Ya would think I would have thought before starting that I could not afford to attend, but I did not want $$$ to stop me from going to school. The reasons for doing this ahve shifted from a neccessity to something I truly enjoy. I love cooking and I love the fact that I am learning some new things. I feel as if a lot of what I learned is unrefined and rough… so I figure that I am supposed to develop these skills in the “real world” as a chef. Is that true? What if I do not want to work in someone else’s kitchen? What if I want to walk my own path?

What if…? I am working on my cafe and I will soon start working on my restaurant design. I also have homework and projects to complete including my web sites: actionheroensemble.com and actionhernetwork.com …. I aam a bizzy dude.

If only all my troubles were solved… everyone says that though. My problems have always been related to money. I never seem to have enough to take care of basics… well, what I feel are basics anyway. My cable got shut off this morning for non-payment. Luckily I had the 300.00 to get it going again… and I have to get caught up on other stuff. When I get some cash I like to hold on to it as long as I can.

Still, I am a lucky person. I have some important things to accomplish in life and sometimes I feel like dropping everything and vanishing. I feel like trying to make a new life somewhere and starting all over again. But, they say that you always bring your problems with you no matter what. Sometimes trying to break the odds is more attractive.

I put a “donations button” on the front page and I am looking for oppurtunities to make life better. I am trying!

Test

I just took Adolfo home following a dinner at the MGM with our favorite waitress anmed Paula. She works in the MGM Buffett (except Wednesday and Thursday) as a waitress and is a way cool chick from El Salvadore. [Ask for her when you go] ….

Anyway, we are still growing in many ways and there are times when we are together and it is difficult. I hate when he gets quiet and it makes me nuts, almost feeling like I am being excluded in a way. I get insecure in some ways and some people have excused me of being a little overly sensative. I suppose it is true, but I rely on my witts and sometimes I am completely without them. In my relationship with Adolfo being sensative is a blessing and a curse. The thing is as soon as something is inhis head that bothers him, not matter how insignificant, I can feel it.

He gave me a card tonight that was very loving and sweet. It looks like we are headed for an alter somewhere… ya know. Our relationship is blossuming and I cry like a baby knowing that this person has so much power over making me happy and miserable at the same time.

Urgh… I am on my second cocktail and will be heading to bed. I have a bizzy day with school tomorrow in the morning and then have some work with the business plan in the afternoon. Jeffy-Jeff in L.A. is a god in my book!

I got a few nice comments back about the ring. So far so good as it goes. I am glad I have Adolfo in my life and I hope he feels the same in return. I am sure he does, though with me he has to put up with a lot. With us talking about living together, we have been faced with stresses and attitudes… it has been good in ways with our changes coming together instead of driving us apart.

Money is always my big issue! I re-did my reume again and am writing it more for Culinary though I would love to do training again right now. If I could get a gig like I had at MASH Village I could still work a second job and continue with school. Alas, who knows if that will happen again?

This week has been un eventful. I think I want to have a party and invite people from school, work, and some of Adolfo’s freinds. Wanna come over and munch out? Alas, I am off to bed soon. Adolfo is already there… good night.

Okay, there it is… this is the ring I got for Adolfo and gave it to him on Saturday. I have been sitting on it for a little while and finally decided to spring it on him. Adolfo seemed genuinely thrilled to have received it and has show it to some of his family and freinds already. I think he is happy.

Anyway, I am going to write more some time soon. I am feeling sleepy right now and will be home tomorrow evening. Hopefully I will have the energy to focus on this stuff and let ya’ll know my stresses. I have some new self-destructive thoughts and got overwhelmed this weekend by them. oi… Kisses… Scott

Almost time for bed. I am so sleepy. Nothing new to report except that I got an e-mail from my traveling companion who was very sweet and understanding about a lot of stuff… goodnight all

I’m home. Adolfo had a lovely dinner waiting for me when I got in and we ate… went to bad… and then… he he he! RIGHT ON BABY!

The trip home was painfully awful! In Denpasar (Bali, Indonesia) we were searched with a fairly normal routine. Changing planes in Taipei (Taiwan) we were searched again through a little more intense… had to take off shoes and check through bags blah blah blah. Then coming into the US we ran into mega-bitch and she decided that she was going to search everything thoroughly! This cunt-hole acted after my traveling companion told me we had to hurry to get to my connecting flight. She peeled though all of his stuff after asking stupid, asshole questions. Thank goodness a male attendant came forward who went though my things and was willing to expidite us on our way. So off we go to connect to my United flight and there is another infected cunt-whole running things there who says I had no choice but to wait in some long line and refused to give me any assistance to make my flight. FUCK THEM I thought and I managed to get onto another airline. Again, searched before getting in the door! ARGH I am sick of this over the top security bullshit.

I see and hear so many people agreeing to this like sheep because they “think” that the government is doing a good thing. How much security is needed? Now, that is a question no one can answer because there is a genuine threat out there. But, who are they stopping and questioning? Pasty faced average people while turbine heads cruise through security? I looked at the people they were stopping in Customs and these had to have been the most vanilla people on the planet. It’s easy to pick people that won’t posses any problem, and what security is really being inforced. Where does it become harrassment versus safety?

Turns me off from wanting to travel at all I tell you! Because of the airlines already treat people like shit, the government treats people like drones, and services are gradually vanishing. It costs too damn much to travel or trust an airline to stay in business and honor their mileage programs. Interesting in my travels especially with a company like national Airlines the inconvenience is always on the passenger. I do not think I have flow National once where they have been on time.

I bitch too much, but I would rather speak out then cow like so many people do. I was treated so poorly by ailines and security yesterday that I am soured on traveling all together. Perhaps there was an unusual security threat yesterday? Perhaps there were things going on that I did not know? Perhaps terrorits wear khaki pants by Dickies and I did not know? On the other hand, maybe Karma was just biting me in the ass??? I was told by my traveling companion that I was “a mean person” because of the way I handled some SOME people in Bali???

My traveling companion? Who is this guy who pays thousands of dollars for me to travel with him? The customs agent was unconvinced and I am sure other people wonder where all this comes from. He is a man who lives in SFO and likes to travel with someone and I am usually good company. I am brave and can be fairly sohpisticated when it comes to food and wine. I can also organize and make arrangements for entertainment… so I can be fun.

Alas, I still did not answer the questions. Alas, I must be off to school for my evening class. Maybe I will add more to this later this evening. Cheers!