I have been very reflective the last couple of weeks with the beginning of the year. I am questioning my place in the community I have come to love so much.
One basic fact is there are a hell of a lot of really cool people whom I can say I genuinely love. Those same people send a lot of love back. If I could manage to find someone I could date with that same vibe, I would be the luckiest guy on earth.
There is a handful of people in that same group that I have managed to alienate and it is because I let myself, no put myself, into the political machine and am now officially chewed up as much as I can stand. You should have seen how much I worked to stay out of that role up to a point, but through a pseudo mentorship from someone I trusted who is a leader in the community I let myself get wrapped up in the wrong things.
It started with one nasty person who became a cancer in something so wonderful. Is it true, the one bad apple can spoil a whole pie, idea? Yes.
You either die a hero, or you
live long enough to see yourself become
That quote from Harvey Dent in the Batman movie resonates in my head as I write this, and from an email I sent in private earlier today. Does it apply to me? Does it apply to Cameron? Either way, I feel like the one going down in flames.
I question my continued involvement for a lot of reasons. Will I make it to Burning Man this year, I am making every effort to get there, but not with the same energy I have had for the last 2.5 years.
As this community takes on fissures and fractures and comes undone I will continue to try and do my best. But it is time to pull the cord on the political discourse.
This is really eating me alive.