It’s my Burthday

In the final minutes of my birthday I am slowly winding down… but since I just started my workshift… I cannot afford to wind down too far! I’m tired. Earlied through mostof the day I was feeling quite depressed. But a few little things of note happened that made me look up and realize the world continues without me.

I was contacted on-line by an old work collegue for whom I used to enjoy working with! He was being a dork by IM’ing me and not telling me who he was at first, though.. weeniehead. But it was a joy to hear from Mark A again. Although, in my alzheimers infused brain I kept thinking his name was dave…. dur!

He updated me on a few people from the olden days of HostPro where we used to work. I really enjoyed that job and had it better than I deserved. A lot of us working there started before the company went crazy with expansion and … of course… sold. I hate to say I was a little under-qualified for the job, but I think I did okay.

He also told me about a couple people who are dead now, one of whom I am a little sad to hear about. Frank ( was aparently killed in a drive-by shooting. He was a good man. He had an awsome talent for web design.

Oh yeah, the company was a web-hosting company. I was the technical trainer for the company and I was laid off in 2001 at the end of August. Great timing, huh?

Mark was this goth, no-nonsense guy who was someone who was generally honest and upfront with people which is a quality I like in some people. He could tell you to fuck-off or tell you that you were a dumb ass and a person could not really be offended because he was generally right.

Anyway, it reminded me a lot of the people I used to work with and enjoy. It also made me feel good that he occasionally reads my tired ass blogs that I thought no-one but Allan and Gary were reading.

Annnnnnnnnnway……. today was my birthday. As I mentioned before I was feeling veruy depressed. It is my 29th (aka 41st) birthday and it means I am swimming into the latter years of my llife… god, how depressing. I was thinking about my realtionship. Friends. Where I am in life. What I want to do. Blah blah blah….

My life sorta sucks right now because I am very unhappy. It’s not an unhappy like I really plan on blowing my brains out or anything, but sometimes it sounds like a good idea. I know there are people who have cancer, people who are starving, people who are being killed, and people with bad hair… all of which are far more owrse off than I… but dammit this is about me.

I fantasize over and over about winning enough money to just pay off my fucking bills. Pay off the gov’t, pay off my student loans, blah blah blah… those being the priority.

My birthday was pretty good over all. A few people came out to help me celebrate and I was blown off by a lot more. Adolfo told me about some of the people he invited, but a couple of the dearest ones showed up… pics coming to the picture book soon!

I got a santuko knife from Adolfo! I got 50$ from Ken and Brian for Circuit City. I got to squeeze Julia’s boyfriend Marvin…. that was nice.

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