So, I woke up this morning looking around myself and feeling like such a fraud. It’s funny to make a statement like that, but one of the things I have been struggling with is the identity of who I am.
I have passions and I love doing a full and complete job, but I can wear more than one hat at a time? <--- yes it is a question mark without it actually being a question.
I started a journey about a year ago and began living a life outside of the box I thought I knew and began exploring things about myself. It caused some relationships to fall away and brought some closer. I have some new friends and different expectations from the people I meet day to day.
Within that, there is a lot of pain you see in how other people are defining their identities and the shallow, plastic, even papermache construction of those personas. Funny how quickly those same people want so badly to tear down my world because it is really freed from certain false supports.
But… I’m good enough to challenge myself. I know how and when I delude myself, but I have dreams still. I’m a middle aged kid inside and still maintain some adult discretion’s and disciplines… I am. I am…
… (he sits down and looks out across the open landscape. In one moment it is a beautiful desert with metallic coppers and steel – while it morphs into rich blues and flowing greens of an enchanting forest – it’s endless)
He dreams of coming back from the desert after a long journey changed. To find profound moment when the tears of fear and anxiety wash away the broken shell to reveal reborn… he flies away to a new landscape and a new adventure.