One week of unemployment down and though I have made some efforts to look for work most of my energy was directed at school and related projects. The thing is many of those projects are going to boost my resume.

I am at a point where I am just drifting. Leaving my last job was NOT devastating. The only bad part was 1.Losing the $ I was being paid which was very generous, and 2. Leaving some cool people who I enjoyed working with.

Since the beginning of this school quarter I have been struggling. Between the stress of a full time + job and 7 classes at school, getting ready for graduation in 6 weeks…. imagine that.

I am finding this year to be a serious roller coaster ride.

– I worry about paying bills
– I worry that my computer at home is on it’s dying breath
– I worry about being single still and not dating at all… NO ONE is interested.

So as optimistic as I am to my soul there are moments when it is a dire struggle. I feel like just giving up entirely because as much as I struggle my fiscal growth is still very horizontal. Yes, I judge my success by my income and title. My success in life is okay…

In life I have my usual small circle of friends and I don’t feel like I am an important element to any of them. I always seem to be that friend that is never top of the list… sorta the friend who rates 3rd or something. This is not a poor-me thing (fuck you for thinking that). As loyal and endearing to my true friends as I am I think a lot of people keep looking for some agenda from me. I don’t do that.

I stand quietly participating in a world of madness.

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