stressed out monkey

One day from school… so far it’s not a place I am looking forward to being at. My $$ for school is quickly running out and I am looking at the chance of not being able to finish unless some miracle happens. I have been looking at myself and where I am going with all this study. Adolfo asked me if I was actually going to go out and work with this education… I am wondering if I can.

I literally feel like I am so behind although I have learned so much. I feel like because of my age that I cannot compete with people who are younger and more apt to understanding the whole picture. If there is one benefit, the younger ones seem to be too stoned – drugged up – or just so over confident that it clears the path for me a little.

I want to feel productive again and I want to feel accomplished. These 3 weeks of behind out of school and work have been restful for some part, but the rest is all stress and worry.

I hear a violin playing somewhere… oh well.

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