I know how I am … yest at the same time there is a lot about myself I either do not acknowledge or do not clue into. My family has told me stuff about myself on occasion that I either forgot or did not know. Some stuff about when I was a kid or my general personality.

Once I was worried about telling myUncy Ed that I was a big homo. I made a big stress-case over it. As I struggled to tell him he laughed and said said “for Christ-sake when you were 13 you came out and announced it to everyone…” I did not remember that at all.

My mom once corrected me about something about my personality and I was stunned because she was actually right. I wish I could remember the exact situation.. but it is things like that which add to my curious ideas about my perception of myself.

“Know thyself” someone said and I don’t. I get emotional. I get reflective. I get insecure. ME!?!?!?!?! I was a really strong character, but I have come to question a lot of my own decisions… I have also come to regret a lot of my decisions.

Regrets are for losers and I cannot be bogged down with them. What kinds of things do I regret? There are a lot of regrets with ex’s. I have lamented enough about those. I regret leaving the Air Force when and how I did. I regret a lot of financial situations I managed to get myself in to.

Anyway, I have been very emotional and reflective lately thinking about this year. 2006 has got to be better than 2005. I feel like there are a lot of changes coming my way and I need to really dig in and find opportunity… take some chances… and make some valuable choices for new direction and goals.

I decided to really make those changes this year. Even if they have to be hard decisions.

I may end up with some new regrets. but… I have to do something.

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