Dreams Last Night

More weird dreams last night. At least when I have dreams they turn out to be a long story. It is often very complicated and with a lot of detail. The key is to remember them once I have been in the waking world for every long.
rp_scan-150x150.jpgI do remember my ex named Adolfo being heavily involved with this one, seeming like we were still together. We lived in a house and the Tom dawg was there. I remember his sitting at a desk a lot looking through a photo album.
Now if I could remember who the women were that were in it and what their roles… I should have written this down earlier. They did seem like they were dressed in 50’s dresses and were women I knew.
We were moving things. Moving like moving into a home but we never left the big, specious home we were in.

The Weekend End

The weekend is almost over and definitely a weird one. I was able to predict… really without knowing… that we were 4 days following a full moon because there was some crazy ass shit going on around this city. Now that was Thursday. Thus… my weekend began.
On Wednesday I had the absolutely best interview at a restaurant that could really be a new beginning for me. When I get this I will be screaming from the rooftops. I will finally be able to break away from all this technical work; web design and social networking shit. It is amazing how annoying and angst inducing all this is at the particular time.
I am putting a lot of weight on getting this job and the tension filling me is amazing; and not in a good way. I have no where to go after this. Nothing right now and knowing that is grinding salt into the would.
I can see myself in this job and when I worked IN THE JOB as part of my audition I felt like I belonged there. This is a huge leap forward for me. It makes up for all that time I lost fucking off with one thing or another.
Fucking off over Burning Man shit, moving from one hell-hole to another… just trying to move forward in life and all I do is end up spinning in my own shit.
IF I did nothing… would I be with Adolfo still living in a dead relationship? Who knows? I am with Chantha right now and I feel like we are uncommonly linked. So weird.
I can’t base my life on my love-life, but having a partner like this makes life worth living. There is something lighter about every day when you have someone looking back at you that you know you love and loves you back.
No, we have not used ‘those words’ with each other and he emphasized like a couple times and my bullshit screen knows what he means.
Bottom line… I have to know what is happening with this job. I need to know if I have a future in this city. If not… what then? I have nothing left.

The pic above was from the Cherry Blossom festival today. Actually went there with Mark yesterday and Chantha today! He got a better pic of the hot drummer and when he gets it to me I will post it.

I am just prattling a lot tonight…. sorry about that.

Our Christmas

X-Mas finally got here in the [redacted]-Valencia Household and we celebrated last night. Pics and gift list below… we had a blast. I have a photo I could not include of Adolfo dunk! Girl can;t handle the champagne.



    • Diamond and White Gold Pendant
      and Necklace!!!!
  • Shirt and Hat
  • Fashionista T
  • Lots of Chocolate!
  • Wine (for both of us)




    • Pasta Roller Set
  • Marc Ecko Sweater
  • Belt with Beetle Buckle
    (Way Cool!)
  • Recipt Binder with all of
    my mom’s recipes


12/25 was our day and when we got home from work we threw it all together. Dinner was Squab stuffed with homemade stuffing and chopped black truffle inside. Spinach saute and desert was a blueberry Brown Betty… quaint, huh?


OMFG is it March already. What the hell happen???? It seems Feb went by so fast… we’re almost a 1/4 of the year into 2006. Well, as it turns out I have been spending a sickening amount of time on www.Myspace.com/[redacted] connecting with people and chatting and stuff.
Terry, check out “austin”, he is someone we graduate with and asked me about you. Of course I told him you were a poll dancer at the Mangina club off the Hollywood Strip and gave hand-jobs for $20… JUST KIDDING!!!!
I told him how well you were doing and if you want to get in touch with him there is a link there. We got updated on some people from High School and it turns out there was a 20 year reunion I guess we were not invited to. Imagine that????
Today I slept the whole day… I feel so good from it. I went to bed 2 Feb at 7:30 in the morning and got up at 8pm that night before going to work…. which is where I am at now. I’ve had nothing but coffee and jelly beans since coming in and I think I am vibrating.
Adolfo was a real DICK to me on Tuesday and I got pissed off and left the house. So the next couple days he was being extra nice to me. I even built him a mySpace thingy connected to mine so he can have a little fun like me! Unfortunately he can be a complete social ‘tard and make it very uncomfortable.
We went out to dinner with a large group of people on Wednesday night at the CheeseCake Factory in Boca Park and had a lot of fun. Kenny was being a poop again. He said he thought Brian was up to something. There were some interesting guys there. I thought it would be all couples, but there were a couple single fellers there. I had what was labeled a “Kobe Burger” that was nothing like Kobe… so skip that. It’s a fat tab for a burger… plllease.
I have been giving Allan a hard time. See, he’s a married guy who like dick. I called him a FAG and he said I was wrong. Later I called him a Queer… he still said no. Then then he told me how he likes masculine men and likes a nice sized cock to play with and I said… uhm, and you don’t thing you’re a fag????
He sounded hurt a little…. I was being mean to him and feel bad about it. He does have a lovely wife and he loved to fuck her a lot. Don’t get me wrong. I am not a black and white guy, I see a lot gray in the world. He’s obviously BI and I am just trying to get him to embrace it a little more.
Al likes to live in a rose colored world… though he has come a LONG WAY in the last couple years with acknowleging reality. His wife though, if she has not figured him out yet, I would be surprised. She almost married a fag once before… then she caught him in bed with another guy. It wrecked her and I think Al is sympathetic to that.
Funny how life is, huh? Al and I have been freinds a long time. We met when I was living in Boston and stayed in touch. He was a complete ASSHOLE for a little while, but I got passed that. I was so mad at him. Al was going to work with me in opening a business here in LV… got me moved here and setup… joined the COC… then poof the money was nowhere to be found. He delacred bankruptcy and all the plans were finished.
That’s all in the past. I do not think I vented over this all that time. IT IS in the past now. I appreciate Al, though, he was trying to be all things to all people. I rather think he still has a journey to travel, because he puts too much faith in the wrong people some times and should (in my opinion) focus on himself more.
But, the BUTT-HEAD keeps dragging his feet about visiting me here in LV. He has not been here since Sept 2001. Hello?????
After all of this ranting he probably won’t want to come.
Al likes ABBA and the web site www.SeanCody.Com….. hmmmm….
Changing subjects… Is this night almost over? Anyway…. Hope all is well! Scott