get’n some Verbal

I feel like the highs in the last years have been equal to the lows. This universe is  a double edged knife I feel like I am dancing around it. As I sit here I look back through my day thinking about how little I have actually accomplished. In a few minutes Chantha will call me and I’ll smile and go to be missing him again.
He is sleeping at his house tonight, but we spent the whole weekend together. I also spent a lot of time thinking about all kinds of stuff. It was important because it was time away from the computer and out of any routine.
Fuck… this is a world I just can’t keep track with.
I am looking at the end of the $$ that has been coming in and I need to find some source of income. What do I do in days when there is no more.
My whole life is being dumped on its side and the only things I want to hold on to I can’t seem to do at the same time. I miss Tom the Dog so much. He’s with grandma right now and I know it is a place he is happy at…. but I know he misses me too.
I let the puppy down and I let my mom down. I let people and animals down all the  time it seems. Meh, sounds like a bad Korean soap opera.
Bottom line it is hard and I have no one to blame but myself. Seems like the fuse is lit and the next two weeks is the length of the fuse.

Posted in Feeling it, Things that haunt me, verbal diahrea and tagged , , .

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