When I try to capture something profound in my own head, I see it like a movie. Like, I saw my life as a walk along a long forest trail. Sometimes there were breaks in the road, forks in the road, barriers and other things. Sometimes the road curved hard around a big tree and there were times when the path disappeared but was visible up ahead.
Somewhere along the way, I may have joined the wrong road or I may have skipped something I was supposed to experience. When the road vanishes it is debilitating. A strong person will find the road again and hopefully find the right one or find the right place.
So, I have hit a lot of broken road on my journey. I skipped ahead and fell way off course. Still not sure if I am walking in the right direction. ENDING THE METAPHORS at this point… but it is not surprising how so many people I know just do not get me and my view of the world. My parents are those people.
At least my mom is a hell of a lot closer than my dad is, but my dad might be surprised how much alike we are. I absolutely HATE that reality. I see how much I am like both of them. I do not want to be like him and I do not want the cloud my family has of dysfunction and remorse and anger to follow me. BUT it is me. Is that just being Irish Catholic?
Mom is horrified right now, because I know she reads this blog. I appreciate it and she will start commenting back I hope. She rocks.
Note to anyone paying attention. Mom says he was not Catholic. He is German decendant. So yeah. She gave more advice she wanted to comment with, but we'll leave well enough alone. I let my passive-agressive self work that out later.