I’m writing this under unpleasant conditions…. brain death. Yeah, last night I did not get much sleep and was out partying with a freind. I was mizzzerable in this bar and realize I am not a happy camper in these bars.

I’ll get something more coherant soon. BUT for now I wanted to say that my freind Mark has been lecturing me about my habits with going out lately, but I am doing mostly social obligations while avoiding spending money when possible.

Last night Marky and I dashed over to the Eagle to see Las Vegas most tragic in their finest. I have to tell you – it was awful. The fags in this town are a solid mess. They are what I pick up from Tom off the grass.

I can have enough heart to say – lucky me compared to them. That was just pure evil, huh? ha ha ha…. so fucking what. I’ve been having fun with some of my freinds (old and new) and find freinds are a commodity that I value. BUT… I am still trying to fogure out who I can really count on.

HERE in vegas, there is no loyalty and there is no virtue. I am so pathetic that my priorities are all screwed sideways. I have to say between buddy Mark and new buddy David I am getting a red-headed bitch slap.

As for John John (Mexican John) he has been working and living his own life so much that I have barely seen him. Ugh. John (Shifta) is still living his own married life and I do not get to see him much either.

It does not seem to matter – a lot of the time I still feel like an outsider with people I feel for. All the names mentioned in this log so far are people I consider freinds here in Las Vegas. I still feel like I am outside a bubble from them anyway.

It’s always been that way. Which is probably why I am still as screwed as I am.

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