i’m a complete idiot

Life is just kinda wierd sometimes. As much as a person keeps setting goals to take them ahead, fate keeps kicking a guy in the balls. It’s just a reminder that we really have no control where we go and when we try to do it… well, it all either goes to shit… pear shaped… sideways.

I lost Adolfo last year and have been sitting on the fence trying to figure of it was the right thing or not. I got to the point when I came to terms that it was. Then I started thinking the separation/break-up was a learning experience for both of us. Now I am just not sure. I feel like I can move on for real… not like the move-on I thought I had six months ago when I was dating someone else for a short while.

I tell my buddies that I want a relationship… then a guy offers to come to town and hang for a weekend and I can think about it is all the other stuff I got to do.

I’m never satisfied. I’m never going to know what that is. god help me… ugh

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