right now a lot of life’s little things seem like they are a lot more than what they are. i am really unhappy being single. yet, at the same time, i am glad to have a little time on my own. i’m feeling squished between the dream of what i want and the reality of the day.
dating here has been a farce deeper than anything i ever experienced. my fear is that the complete dysfunction has become a part of who i am as well. i try and stay apart from the really obscene behavior of the majority of men here but it’s definitely hard. it’s karma.
ugh… now i am older and now i am underwater (metaphorically) and the water is not cleansing. i have some time to put into being here… then i need to go do something else. sucks man.
so i dream of romance and i dream of meeting a cool guy to hang with. hm.