food and friends… not what you think

I am watching Muriel’s Wedding right now and spent a good part of the day just doing things as exciting as that. Okay, I went to the gym earlier and watched a man try and lure me into a shower. I don’t know what the universe is doing today, but when I initially went into the shower area three of the gym’s biggest freaks were in there being freaky with each other… ew. They honestly looked at me like I would wnt to jump in… I left nausiated.


So… on the way to the gym I called a few freinds of mine to come over for dinner. I have been holding a pork tenderloin in the fridge for a couple nights sitting in a tomato sauce. I bought some other yummy things to go with it; some brown mushrooms and baby spinach.

I cooked the mushrooms down with some onions and celery, splashed them with some dark rum, and cooked out some precuitto. I fileted a pork tenderloin and rolled it out into a big sheet. Then i laid out the mushrooms on it, layered the ham over that, then rolled it all closed. After tying it shut I pan seered the whole thing to get it nicely camelized on the outside.

The tomato sauce is an acid and breaks down the tough tissue. The intention is that the meat is sweet and tender. But, hell, never overcook pork because it will be awful. Everyone over cooks pork!

No one called me to say they were not going to make it. I figured they might check voice mail since this morning. But, no. I supose I can’t get too upset by it… no I could, but I won’t.

Annnnway…. Dad was here visiting yesterday and Adolfo and I went to see him. The day went well up to a point. Adolfo was so rude to me on a couple of occasions. I blew it off initially, but then it got to the point where I just sould not take it anymore and I turned off. I just shut down rather than deal with him a minute more.

Ken, my hot Bahama Chef pal, says “leave”. It’s not that simple… or is it? I seem to have this parade of failed relatiosnhips and the common thread is that they lose repsect for me. I know I don’t deserve it.

Long story… all my own fault. Right Brian V??? I have been thinking a lot about ex’s and how much I still love some of them. If I feel love for someone, freind or lover, it stays strong inside of me. If I love someone it’s the most honest expression of my soul that I can give.

Brian: (who never reads these things) I loved you so much. We were like oil and water, but I loved you anyway.

Frank: a love that faded because as much as I offred love and freindship it was never accepted. I was never privy to his feelings. Big Daddy was his nickname (guess why) and he happy in Long Beach probably or somewhere fabulous.

James M: in Northridge Ca… I was still not good enough.

John: I hurt him and I was wrong.

Ron: whom I loved so deeply, but I fled because it was all going so wrong. Then you died and 15 years later I still think of you.

Michael C: the loving neighbor boy.

That’s just a few people. The ones I thin of most out of the ex’s category.

Maureen: fried and gal-pal

Rosa: miss you so much.

Cynthia: I wish we never lost our paths.

This rant is getting out of control. So, I end it here. Terry, Sam, Woody, Keith and so many more should be in here as well. People come into your life, touch something, then vacate sadly.

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