Boy was I wrong… my BF is Sybil. I am living with, fucking, and cooking food for Sybil. The Big Chair is missing… yet… Sybil lives in Las Vegas. A few nights ago (Wednesday) I took Adolfo to a party at Jillians for restaurant people that was being offered by Food Service Magazine. In front of all these people I knew Sybil was a moody, unfreindly, distant bitch. Sybil would not stay with us and would hover in different corners of the room pouting, grimacing, or whatever.
I was sooooooooooo annoyed…
I was understanding… he explained that he was completely uncomfortable and that he was not prepared for the environment that we were in. Yes it was Breeder City there as we were in Neonopilis off Freemont Street… but I was myself. The party was hosted by a couple Dykes… get over it.
A day or two before that Sybil was mad at me because I did something I am still unclear on. I did know, in advance, that Sybil would be mad at me because I was having a great day! (Tuesday) I was hanging out with gal-pal Denicha and we were running through the city like a couple of idiots. That was a great day… somehow I became the bad guy. It was as predicatble as rain in Seattle that if I was having a good time Sybil would piss all over it. ERGH!
Sybil? If I laugh to myself when I am standing next to him inexplicably it is because I am wondering which personality is going to emerge from inside the Beast. i.e. Adolfo… as I write this it is clear as air that Sybil is ideal nickname.
Sybil is pissing me off on a regular basis lately and it must be like a sewage backup because for a long time we were at peace with each other. He blames our odd relationship for the stress he feels in it. He blames me for his mood swings. He also blames other people (can’t say who) for his screwed up outlook and disposition.
When I made yesterday’s entry I was deluded that everything was going to be fine. In my own benevolence I brushed off most of our issues. Yesterday evening we were sitting at the dining table and he was ignoring me (more like passively, stoically, demonstratively distant). He had been like this all friggin’ day long. Then he was like that in front of my parents and even as I introduced him to my step-aunt and uncle. He seems to feel okay that he can be rude in front of other people. Rude, unfreindly, cold.
Oh, can I imagine how it would be if I acted like that with any of his family or freinds… NEVER!
Do I sound angry? Do I sound dismayed? Sybil is over babysitting some kids and will be gone half that day! ADIOS BI-OTCH.