Where am I?

I just wrote a post on my BM blog. It was something stuck in my head that I hoped by putting it there would help. I am struggling a lot with my place in the world and how to keep plotting around through it. I have been disappointed in people my whole life beginning with my own family. My biological father and my biological sister are 2 huge flares in my past.

Blah blah blah… I am 55 years old now and have put all this drama from my younger years in the appropriate bins and try not to open Pandoras Box when I can. I made some great accomplishments this year though:

  • CMonster and I struggled through 2018 and after some counseling we got into a great space.
  • Starting in September 2019 I started treatment for PTSD that brought a lot of things into focus; it wrapped up at a key point in March/April.

None the less, I still have work to do for myself. I struggle very hard with it as well. And sometimes things crack. This stuff with Covid-19 and BLM have weighed heavier.

I guess I am just rifting….

No one is reading any of this shit anyway. Its a long road to anything meaningful here. I am just so tired. I am just so worn out. I am tired of people fucking me over. I am just tired.

Posted in Drama - Pass please.

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