Last night I took another evening for myself. These evenings seem to involve a lot of numbing myself out and getting into questionable circumstances.
I bought a yummy brownie and was warned not to eat much of it. I ate more than the recommended amount and had drinks so before midnight o was pretty faced.
Waking up this morning I felt like an ashtray. Why do I do this shit to myself?
As much as I cut some bad things out I find myself sinking into other things more. Is this addiction or just escapism? Both? Meh, its a lot.
C Monster and I are still good. He is doing AA and I am proud of him. He had a big slip last week but no one beats him up like himself.
I need therapy again. I am losing myself. I am lost.