Well, I got Mikey off to Toronto this morning and I actually got up at 5am

to drive him there. What is more amazing than anything is that I was able to

wake up at that ungodly hour and actually function enough to drive to the airport

without killing myself or anyone else.

I have received a lot of interesting feedback on my previous diary entry about

men. It was here I slapped a label on Latinos, Black Men, Asian Men, and White

Men. Mostly, there was positive feedback gleefully laughing at the accuracy

of my somewhat harsh words. This is not to say that all Latin Men are sluts

and Asian Men are so easy, or maybe it was? The entry was made in absolute frustration

for my whole dating experiences.

For example… I met a sweet Mexican guy recently named Alejandro and we seemed

to hit if off quite well. He showed a lot of interest and I felt rally good

about it, except for the fact that he and his boyfriend of 2 years had broken

up a few days before. What color is this warning flag, huh? RED! He really seemed

like he was okay with it so I decided to see him and after the second date we

got neked and I discovered he wanted to fuck me bareback and I told him that

I would not be comfortable with that, ya know. Not the typical PC reasons mind

you, but because I know latin guys and if I did that I would never see him again

afterward. Then I would feel like shit.

Well… Aleljandro and I did screw around (no fucking) and as soon as sex was

over the first words out of his mouth were "Oh, it’s late". Yes..

he was making an excuse to leave almost immediately after he got off. Would

you be surprised to know that I called him a couple times and never got a call

back? Would you be surprised to know I ran into him at Backstreet and he acted

like we were best buddies while we were face to face and intimated we would

see each other again soon, then he writes me via e-mail how he met someone that

night? I am thinking of a word… dirt bag.

As mentioned, I have had this bizarre interest in mexi boys lately. I like

exotic types to my own dismay. I look for a special spark of life in a guy I

meet and want to date. I always look for something interesting in the person

and a passion for life. It’s hard to find, especially here in Las Vegas because

some many people seem to be content with menial jobs with very dry aspirations

for their future. I do not understand that mentality.

Recently I met a guy named Hector who is half Mexi and half Italian. Now, that

is a spicy sexy mix, huh? The red flag with this guy is that his lover of 15

years died only last year from a heart attack that came suddenly. At the same

time, this fact makes him attractive because he was monogamous (so he claims)

and I have this idea to believe him (I am so gullible, but I trust this guys

so far). Anyway, he and I have been on 3 dates and he has said to me very forwardly

that he wants to be friends first before delving into anything else. Yes, we

have had sex. Some of the best sex and love making I have ever had!

The reality is I think this guy is going to vanish on me. He read the diary

entry I posted about Latin Men and thought I was being very mean in it. He thought

I should take it down, but that won’t happen. These diary entries are my therapy

and really are not for anyone to make any kind of demand on.

On our third date I surprised Hector with flowers and I think it really touched

him. He took me for dinner that evening and we had a nice time. We always have

a nice time together! When we came back to my place we got neked and make such

love that I tell you… I was overwhelmed! I did not cum. I did not want to.

I held back my orgasm and it left me in such a heightened state or arousal that

I worked on him all evening. I kissed him all over, along his thigh and balls,

down to his ass and up to his nipples. I suckled this delicious and beautiful

man as long as I could. My GOD I was feeling melded to this man to my soul.

I felt such love in these moments that I wonder if he could even fathom. I felt

intertwined with him.

Sex is spiritual for me. I connect at such a deep level. My fear, again, is

that he does not appreciate that gift I am offering.

I am single and I am not settling down right now. I do not feel that Hector

will commit or has the ability to do that right now. So, I am meeting other

guys and am opening to dating.

Dating is such a hard road to be on. Especially in a region where it seems

there are so many flaky and uninteresting men. There are so many sluts in Las

Vegas who cannot think beyond the tips of their dicks and have the sensitivity

of a wet sponge. I remain hopeful though and wait to see where things with Hector

will go or not go. If I meet someone else, then so be it. Another problem is

that I simply will not settle. The guy I meet has to have the right qualities.

If you’re wondering what that means then see the Dating section in the menu

of my site.

This morning I had a dream that lived out on of my greatest fears. And this

is a God’s honest truth I write here. I fear that I will grow to be an old,

angry, jaded man like so many queers seem to be. I see so many wrecked, spiritually

crushed, hopelessly bitter men skulking around. I hope someone shoots me in

the head if I ever get that way. My mom is an angry woman and I see some of

those traits in me. God bless!